Today I was schooled by my 8 year old…here is what happened.
“Dante, you should put your skipping ropes in this little backpack here.” I picked up a blue and grey backpack and motioned for Dante to put his skipping ropes in there.
“I’m not a fan of that bag, it just isn’t my kind of backpack.” Dante sneered at the supposedly ugly backpack.
“Well, skipping ropes can be easily lost…” I prodded.
“Nope, not my style.” Dante insisted on holding the skipping ropes in his hands until he got to training class.
When Dante got to his training class, the coach told the students that skipping ropes were not required so they can put the skipping ropes away. Dante gave his skipping ropes to me for safe keeping in my small purse.
After the training class, Dante asked for a quarter for a gumball candy and I had to take the skipping ropes out out my purse to access my wallet. But when I got home, I noticed that the skipping ropes were no longer in my purse!
“Dante, I think I might have lost the skipping ropes today when you asked me for a quarter…” I said.
“Didn’t you say earlier that skipping ropes are easily lost?” Dante said with a smug smile on his face, “You should be careful with what you say Mommy, because it might just come true!”
These were the wise words of an eight year old boy…
What should we talk about today?
Universe: “I love you”. You say that more to your cats than the people around you.
May: I know right?! Why is it so hard for people to say “I love you”?
U: Because it makes them feel vulnerable. They are really fearing that people won’t love them back, stemming from the times from childhood and beyond (past, future, and parallel lives), where they wanted love but did not receive love in the way they wanted.
To be here (on earth) to some is the same as separating from the eternal love or the place where eternal love used to be.
From the time of “perceived” separation from the place of eternal love, we are trying to get back to that place of eternal love.
People do all kinds of things to achieve that sense of unconditional love and bliss. Some take drugs, some engage themselves in dangerous activities…some seek unrealistic expectation in relationships – trying to dictate what love should be.
In the realm of Spirit, which every individual is capable of accessing, there are no limits to time and space. You can be at one place and then “be” instantly in another space. You are omnipresent. You won’t need to go anywhere. You are everywhere and henceforth, you are always and already in the place of eternal love.
If you knew this, you no longer need to seek love from others. You already have all the love you need and more. You shall have unlimited love to give without expectations.
It is easier to say, “I love you” to your cats because you can restrict their movements by holding them and making sure that they don’t go anywhere. You know they cannot say, “I love you” back, so there is no expectation of how a cat should behave when you profess your love to it.
But with other humans, it is different, people don’t always respond in ways you expect them to and therefore, there is the possibility of feeling vulnerable…and seemingly abandoned if the response you get from the ones you love was not what you expected it to be. If you can draw love from the place of eternal love, then you would be able to say “I love you”, whenever and wherever without worrying about not receiving certain types of expected responses.
“Do you have an imaginary friend?” Dante (8 years old) asked.
“When I was a little girl, I saw a lot of monkeys once when I was very sick.” I replied, “Do you have an imaginary friend?”
“Yes I do! His name is Alfred!” Dante said an absolute sense of certainty.
“Oh! What does he look like?” I was VERY curious.
“He has a head like a chicken, body like an elephant, and tail like a dragon!” He said with a wide smile.
“This certainly sound like a very interesting creature…” No doubt about that!
“I have an imaginary friend too!” Cedric spoke from the back seat on the other side of the car.
“Oh! Does your friend have a name?” I asked.
“Yes! His name is Ghosty! Although I am not sure if he is actually a boy or a girl. I don’t think he is boy or a girl but I just call him a “him”
“So when do you get to do talk to Ghosty?” I asked.
“He shows up in my pillow when I sleep at night” Cedric said.
“Are you scared of Ghosty at all?” I asked.
“When I first saw Ghosty I was scared, but you said I could talk to him so I said Hi and found that he was not scary at all.”
“When was the last time you saw Ghosty?”
“I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“So do you know how to reach him if you want to talk to them?” I asked.
“It’s easy!” Dante interrupted, “Just think about them and they will appear!”
“That does sound pretty easy to me. Your imaginary friends probably know a lot of things, maybe next time you can try asking them some questions!” I suggested.
After this conversation, they were distracted by an emergency vehicle zooming by the car and the conversation went on a tangent elsewhere, but I can’t help to marvel at how simple it is for children to be connected to the world that cannot be seen by the naked eye. My conversation with my parents about imaginary friends didn’t go well because I was simply told there was no such thing and that I was “making things up”.
While it could be entirely possible for kids to make things up, I now see the importance of allowing children to make things up and allow them to play with their imagination. After all, most of the things we use today in or daily lives were “made up” at one point or another. The keyboard I am using now to write this article was made up some time in the not so distant past as well as the computer screen I am looking at and the wireless internet that works magically without me seeing actual wires or electrical impulses flying through the air. Just because something cannot be seen by others doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
How to Talk to Your Kids About Imaginary Friends
- Ask them about their imaginary friends. Be interested in their imaginary friend, ask them how they first met, what their imaginary friends look like, what they do together, when they hang out etc.
- Find out if their imaginary friend(s) have positive interactions together.
- Include imaginary friends in play time and ask your child to share their conversations with you.
How to Deal with Scary Imaginary Figures
When I was a little girl, I had a very high fever once and I saw all these monkeys chasing after me. I remember crawling up my father’s lap screaming that the monkey’s were going to bite my butt. My dad dismissed my reactions, saying that my reactions were non-sense and there were no monkeys that he could see. Now that I have learned more about the realm of the unseen, I wished he could have done things differently. If your child has a scary encounter with friends / entities she can see but you cannot see, do not dismiss her. Reassure her that you are there protecting her and if your child is able to communicate using language, ask your child to face the scary imaginary figure and ask them to stop whatever it is they are doing. In my case as a little girl, I saw monkeys were chasing me. Then ask your child to pretend that the imaginary figure can talk or communicate in ways she can understand. Have a conversation with the imaginary friend / friends. If the imaginary figures are not friendly, ask your child to tell them to leave with you holding your child and providing security.
In Cedric’s case, he began seeing Ghosty when he was about 3 years old. He would wake up in the middle of the night saying that he was scared of a ghost that was in his pillow. I told him that ghosts may or may not be scary. I asked him to try talking to Ghosty and see if he was really scary. Over time, Cedric befriended Ghosty and they spend many hours in dreamland together.
Fostering Imagination in Children
Children are born with the ability to see, hear, and sense things adults may not be able to do. I remember I saw the monkeys so clearly but with my parents gradual dismissal I have almost lost my ability to see beyond the physical. I don’t have the same kind of vivid visual imagination I used to have as a child. I am pretty sure if this ability was fostered as a child, I could probably put this ability to good use, like seeing if something is wrong with another persons body / energy. Now if I want the same skills I was naturally born with, I would have to relearn them. Which is a bit of a shame.
My kids may not fully understand the importance of retaining the ability to call upon their imaginary friends today, but one day, maybe they will find that Alfred and Ghosty may have many wisdom to share as they go about their lives.
I was getting ready to do my work for the day when I received this message:
As you begin your work, hold onto the unwavering belief that you can make a difference in the lives of others.
So many times I am plagued by the belief that I am not that useful or that others are more useful than me. I can see that these are fear-based, ego driven ideas to keep me safe from the possibility of failing at trying to help others.
The Universe preemptively got me in a positive frame of mind this morning!