May:I feel super cranky right now. Everyone around me pushes the wrong buttons. The people I love are totally annoying me. What should I do?
M: What should I write about?
U: Too many “should’s” and not enough writing. When we do not do what we say we would do, we become cranky and we take it on others. The other people are paying the price of your broken promises to yourself.
M: Am I different from other people? I guess this is my way of justifying that everyone else has a similar issue, I am not alone in this…:P
U: Speak for yourself only.
M: Ouch, my ego feels hurt.
U: It is you who create the meaning of the message being delivered. If you stop the justification, then you won’t feel as hurt. Take things as it is and not to make too much out of what it means to you.
M: Speaking of broken promises, would it be much better if we make no goals or promises to ourselves and then we won’t be breaking any promises or suffer any consequences of broken promises?
U: You may try to stop making promises in the physical, but there were promises you’ve made to yourself in the non-physical. You cannot ignore those promises.
M: We were not born to have the intel on what we have promised on the soul level are we?
U: Yes you were born with the information intact AND you have access to it.
M: I never hear you singing from heaven telling me what I am supposed to do. Or rather, what I had promised to do.
U: Yes, we sing from heaven into your heart all the time and you just have to listen to your heart.
M: It beats…
U: Do what you feel you must do. Even if it is hard. We sing from heaven in a way of a nudge in your heart. If you pay attention to what is in your heart, you will hear us more clearly.
M: You tell me to write but I don’t feel like it.
U: The real you very much feels like writing…which is why you get cranky when you are not writing. The aspect of you that does not feel like writing wants to keep you safe from others who may attack you for what you write.
M: Will there be people who will?
M: That does not sound fun at all!
U: If you know that for every person who criticizes you, you can transform the lives of a thousand other people, would you rather be criticized once?
M: My ego is screaming that it does not want to be criticized at all.
U: And that stops you from doing what you came here to do. So, what’s more important?
M: Keep my promise and share my insights and stories. Who knows, maybe those who criticize me are cranky because they are resisting their true calling…
What I Learned
I was reminded that everyone comes here for a reason. There is something that each of us need to learn and to contribute in our own way. When we break our own promises to ourselves, we become cranky, anxious, annoyed, depressed, for no good reason. We need to consider both the promises we have made in the physical and non-physical. Even if it seemed like we have no access to our promises to our soul, we do have access to that and the Universe can speak to us through the feelings in our heart — to do what we feel we must do.
Bottom Line: Listen to your heart and do what your heart truly wants to do.
I sat down to write at my computer to fulfill my promise to write one thousand words a day. I added more than 3000 words to my book.
Here is a video about why the Angelic Orchestra Stopped Playing and what we can do to change that.
If you love this inspirational video, please subscribe to my newsletter!
May: Dear Source, I feel like I am such an awful writer, why did you ever tell me to write?
Source: You suck, but We don’t.
May: You are so funny!
Source: You were chosen because of your willingness to be a vessel for us, not for how good YOU can write.
May: Are you saying that the good writers are not doing the writing themselves?
Source: The best ones let us do the writing. This requires a level of selective laziness. You have to be lazy about thinking.
May: You mean, I actually get to be lazy about something?
Source: You can send your Ego mind on vacation.
I had been operating with a sense of self doubt in the last little while. Sat down to have a dialogue with my Higher Self today.
The true place of contribution is from within
It is the place of power
When you are shattered to pieces within
You cannot help others, if you cannot help yourself
First, take a hard look at yourself
Are you whole?
Do you vibrate with Love?
Do you vibrate with Joy?
Do you believe that you are good enough?
Do you believe you have what it takes?
Do you love yourself?
Do you love yourself?
My Ego Self:
I do not love myself
I do not believe in myself
I don’t know what to do
How can I ever be good enough?
You are a magnificent light of love and joy
You are here to show people love and joy in…
everything that you do
My Ego Self:
They don’t need me
Who am I to assume that I can help them?
I am so little, and insignificant
The Source is not out there
It is within
If you can trust,
You can tap into the wisdom within
A part of you that does not require
Any approval from others
Or the recognition from others
Release your attachments of wanting to
Be there for others
And focus inward on yourself
This is where you can contribute
As much as you have ever wanted to contribute
close your eyes, you do not need to see
there is nothing out there to see
but a set of false illusions
the only truth is within
no one else will be able to find it for you
you can only find it
deep within yourself
so, close your eyes,
there is no need to see —
what is merely your mind’s construct
close your eyes and see the light within
you are that light
nothing else matters
no amount of possessions can lead you closer to the light within
focus on the experiences you wish to create
we love you and we hope that you too
can love yourself
we will never give up on you
such an act is
impossible in the realm of love
we believe in you in the beginning
we believe in you until the end
so go forth and create
we do not have any judgments of what you do
go forth and experience
all that you want to experience
if you choose love, that is of your own choosing
if you choose pain, that is of your own choosing
no matter what you choose,
we offer love and
~ May Chu, Jan, 2013, written with eyes closed…
In the summer 2006 I had documented a very interesting experience in which I would like to share in this blog.
I had purchased the audio CD “Ask and It is Given” by Ester Hicks and proceeded to listen to the audio CD. Within 20 minutes of starting the CD I felt very tired all of a sudden — like my eye lids wanted to close but I didn’t really know why. I followed my intuition by taking off my glasses and sitting quietly in my chair with my eyes closed. Then, I had this sudden urge to write for no particular reason, so I reluctantly got up from my chair to grab a notebook and a pen. I now have that original notebook in front of me and I would like to share with you what I wrote:
How do I explain the current state of being I am experiencing?
There is extreme calm and sureness that I cannot describe, it overtakes my physical form / being readily and quickly whenever I am ready.
In this state I feel love and peace. I am free of pain and fear. I recognize that it is unnecessary. My heart feels overwhelmed with joy. I use the word “overwhelmed” not in the way of explaining something that is negative or intolerable, but a sensation of overflowing peace.
Every time I close my eyes I return to this meditative state. Even as I am writing my eyes wishes to close — not out of fatigue but of necessity to stay connected to the way I feel.
My eyes cannot see, for everything is blurry, yet I continue to write without resistance in a relatively straight line. Most of what I want to communicate is how I feel. Sometimes I feel my physical form disappear in feeling and sensation with only the burning of my upper and middle back communicating with me. At this moment I do not need to be consciously aware of what I am writing. I merely have to write.”
At this time I see that my handwriting had changed from my usual neat and tidy printing to some kind of light scribble:
“I am willing to succumb to any thoughts or sensations that are overtaking my beingness. I seek to be aware of my resistance and fully trust the love and support. Questions that may have arisen from the place of fear and doubt are consciously realized and removed. I became aware of the state of nothingness, but not nothingness without the sense of love and peace. There is a sense of trance in the way I feel.
I am writing with my being, not consciously thinking or constructing thought, but merely allowing my vision to cloud over and simply be.
The eyes wishes to close again and my pen continues to move. I am resisting the urge to keep my eyes closed.
I feel energy flowing through me, but specifically in my heart. What does that mean? What is the purpose of keeping me in this state? Why did I feel the urge to write, to scribble? What is my purpose here?
Trust that you are loved, be not blinded by materialism, you will be well taken care of. You will have anything you need with much to spare. Live joyously, your purpose is to show your being to others by showing them what is possible.
Show by example, each and every moment by living in the state of high vibration.
What is this great thing/ feeling that is happening to me?
There is no forever, there is only now. Focus on being — that is what you are meant to do.
While I am copying my handwriting into text form on this blog post, I started to feel the same tired feeling on my eyelids again! I ignored that feeling this time because I really wanted to finish writing this post. I must say I am in awe of what I wrote. I really didn’t think I was this wise 😛
I had included two paragraphs in bold because I noticed that it was being written in third person and not first person, which I thought was a bit odd. Was I talking to myself or something? Or was I talking to someone else?
Maybe one day, who ever was visiting with me will visit again…