“Do you have an imaginary friend?” Dante (8 years old) asked.
“When I was a little girl, I saw a lot of monkeys once when I was very sick.” I replied, “Do you have an imaginary friend?”
“Yes I do! His name is Alfred!” Dante said an absolute sense of certainty.
“Oh! What does he look like?” I was VERY curious.
“He has a head like a chicken, body like an elephant, and tail like a dragon!” He said with a wide smile.
“This certainly sound like a very interesting creature…” No doubt about that!
“I have an imaginary friend too!” Cedric spoke from the back seat on the other side of the car.
“Oh! Does your friend have a name?” I asked.
“Yes! His name is Ghosty! Although I am not sure if he is actually a boy or a girl. I don’t think he is boy or a girl but I just call him a “him”
“So when do you get to do talk to Ghosty?” I asked.
“He shows up in my pillow when I sleep at night” Cedric said.
“Are you scared of Ghosty at all?” I asked.
“When I first saw Ghosty I was scared, but you said I could talk to him so I said Hi and found that he was not scary at all.”
“When was the last time you saw Ghosty?”
“I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“So do you know how to reach him if you want to talk to them?” I asked.
“It’s easy!” Dante interrupted, “Just think about them and they will appear!”
“That does sound pretty easy to me. Your imaginary friends probably know a lot of things, maybe next time you can try asking them some questions!” I suggested.
After this conversation, they were distracted by an emergency vehicle zooming by the car and the conversation went on a tangent elsewhere, but I can’t help to marvel at how simple it is for children to be connected to the world that cannot be seen by the naked eye. My conversation with my parents about imaginary friends didn’t go well because I was simply told there was no such thing and that I was “making things up”.
While it could be entirely possible for kids to make things up, I now see the importance of allowing children to make things up and allow them to play with their imagination. After all, most of the things we use today in or daily lives were “made up” at one point or another. The keyboard I am using now to write this article was made up some time in the not so distant past as well as the computer screen I am looking at and the wireless internet that works magically without me seeing actual wires or electrical impulses flying through the air. Just because something cannot be seen by others doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
How to Talk to Your Kids About Imaginary Friends
- Ask them about their imaginary friends. Be interested in their imaginary friend, ask them how they first met, what their imaginary friends look like, what they do together, when they hang out etc.
- Find out if their imaginary friend(s) have positive interactions together.
- Include imaginary friends in play time and ask your child to share their conversations with you.
How to Deal with Scary Imaginary Figures
When I was a little girl, I had a very high fever once and I saw all these monkeys chasing after me. I remember crawling up my father’s lap screaming that the monkey’s were going to bite my butt. My dad dismissed my reactions, saying that my reactions were non-sense and there were no monkeys that he could see. Now that I have learned more about the realm of the unseen, I wished he could have done things differently. If your child has a scary encounter with friends / entities she can see but you cannot see, do not dismiss her. Reassure her that you are there protecting her and if your child is able to communicate using language, ask your child to face the scary imaginary figure and ask them to stop whatever it is they are doing. In my case as a little girl, I saw monkeys were chasing me. Then ask your child to pretend that the imaginary figure can talk or communicate in ways she can understand. Have a conversation with the imaginary friend / friends. If the imaginary figures are not friendly, ask your child to tell them to leave with you holding your child and providing security.
In Cedric’s case, he began seeing Ghosty when he was about 3 years old. He would wake up in the middle of the night saying that he was scared of a ghost that was in his pillow. I told him that ghosts may or may not be scary. I asked him to try talking to Ghosty and see if he was really scary. Over time, Cedric befriended Ghosty and they spend many hours in dreamland together.
Fostering Imagination in Children
Children are born with the ability to see, hear, and sense things adults may not be able to do. I remember I saw the monkeys so clearly but with my parents gradual dismissal I have almost lost my ability to see beyond the physical. I don’t have the same kind of vivid visual imagination I used to have as a child. I am pretty sure if this ability was fostered as a child, I could probably put this ability to good use, like seeing if something is wrong with another persons body / energy. Now if I want the same skills I was naturally born with, I would have to relearn them. Which is a bit of a shame.
My kids may not fully understand the importance of retaining the ability to call upon their imaginary friends today, but one day, maybe they will find that Alfred and Ghosty may have many wisdom to share as they go about their lives.
This is an inspirational story about a conversation I had with my six year old about God.
Yesterday I was putting the kids to bed when we were talking about managing our energy. I was teaching them about how kids can be very hyper if they don’t learn how to manage their energy.
All of a sudden Cedric blurted out, “I know what God is!”
“Oh really?” I said.
“Yeah! God is a big massive ball of energy!” Cedric said as he raised both of his arms to make a huge circular gesture.
“What makes you think that?” Feeling rather amused. I don’t think we talked about this before.
“I don’t know, I’m going to start imagining energy moving through my body now.” He said as he pulled up his blanket and got ready for dreamland.
I had a conversation today with my friend and accountability partner and he shared an inspirational story about attracting money.
“I need to have a full roster of clients.” My friend said to me.
“Why?” I asked, “How can that help you?”
“I have a lot of financial obligations.” He said.
“Why don’t you just ask the Universe for what you want?” I said.
“That’s a good idea, let’s try that! Universe! I would like $50,000 by August 1st.” He said.
“That might not be specific enough, what do you need this money for?” I asked.
“We have some vet bills…debts we need to pay.” He said.
“You know, the Universe doesn’t care how the money comes to you. Sometimes, it means your ability to access loans.” I said.
Two Weeks Later
“You know, I have a confession to make.” My friend said.
“What happened?” I asked.
“My wife’s stepdad called and said, ‘Hey thanks for paying me back!’ He offered to loan us $5000 a while ago to help us out and $5000 recently appeared on his bank account. But the thing is, we didn’t send him any money.” My accountability partner said with a chuckle.
“You mean the exact sum of money that you your wife’s stepdad just showed up in the bank account out of nowhere.” I said.
“Yeah, pretty much! That’s not even it. My sister offered to pay for our family vacation we go together every year. That’s another $3000 I don’t have to pay.” He added.
“Wow! So what do you want to do this week for your business?” I asked.
“I need to get hired so that I can make some much needed money!”
“Don’t you see that the Universe often has other plans as to where the money comes from?”
When I was setting my own goals for this coming week, I also made a similar mistake, I wrote, “Show me a way I can help people while making good money!”
Surely, this would be the dream of every person. Do something they like to help others and make good money from it. But as soon as I wrote down my goal, I heard an amusing voice in my head:
Inner Wisdom (IW): Those are two different things you know.
May: What do you mean by that?
IW: How you help people and how money flows to you can be two different things. You may find an amazing way to help people, but that may not be the way you make a lot of money. However, that is not to say that you would not be presented with a lot of money. The truth is money doesn’t come from where YOU want it to come from. Don’t tell the Universe where you want the money to come from. They really do know better. Pay attention to how you can serve others, and let the Universe work its magic to bring abundance to you.
I am in the process of designing a series of what I call Functional Meditations. These meditations are designed to help you access your own inner wisdom in a variety of situations. The first one I am in the process of creating is a meditation to help people deal with their inner critic. I came up with this idea while attending a personal development course. During a group share exercise, I was blown away by how many people would beat themselves up by criticizing themselves over little things. For example, there were some technical challenges with a virtual meeting and the organizer and group leader was bashing himself for being so disorganized.
I am also not immune to my own inner critic. I lose motivation and momentum just like many other people do. When fear and ego take over me, I find it hard to see the bright side of life that is full of possibilities. I need my own functional meditations as much as anyone else. The way we can easily access our inner wisdom is through inspired questions. Sometimes, I am clear headed enough to ask my own inspired actions, sometimes, I am too far into inner critic land to ask inspired questions. So, I decided to see if I could create a functional meditation that would overcome my own limitations.
Let’s talk about my own inner critict. One of the biggest fears and doubts I have is that no one would care about what I write and speak about. I fear that all my friends would think I am crazy and ignore me. What’s the point of writing a blog or doing a video if no one wants to read it or watch it? So I began to listen to the first recording of my Dissolve Your Inner Critic meditation. I started out by narrowing down my inner critic’s voice to one sentence or concept such as, “No one will care about what I say”. Then I began to listen to a short 7 minute functional meditation I created.
At the end of the meditation, I saw in my mind’s eye that even if people seem oblivious to what I have to say, they are still getting the energetic and spiritual benefits. I saw beams of soft flowing light caressing people and surrounding them with love, joy, and peace. I realized that this had nothing to do with whether people would listen to me because this work has far reaching benefits for people in general, whether they recognize it or not. There is no need to seek acceptance and reciprocation from certain people, but rather, leave it to the Universe to balance the flow of energy.
Now my inner champion has spoken! It showed me that I am making a difference and that I don’t have to be attached to how people respond to me. Instead, I can focus on the healing work I am meant to do.
I had a chance to sit down with Business and Marketing Consultant Aaron Cruikshank to talk about something dear to his heart. Aaron was adopted as a little baby. When he in his mid-30s, he began a quest to find his birth mother. This inspirational story allowed me to understand the internal turmoils that many adoptees have knowing that someone had given them up for adoption. In this inspirational video interview, Aaron spoke about the first time he met his birth mother and the one thing he wanted his birth mother to know. This was a emotional interview that brought both Aaron and I to tears:
I don’t have strong opinions about abortions but this interview made me think about all the amazing women out there who chose to bring life into the world even if they could not care for the baby and have the courage of giving their own babies up for adoption — giving people a chance to have a great life, to be useful to society, and to become amazing parents themselves. At the time of this writing, Aaron’s birth mom and parents are about to meet for the first time. This was a very beautiful story that came full circle in the end.
This is a continuation from my previous post called the Consequences of Trying to Spoil My Kids where I spoke about the lessons I learned from trying too hard to spoil my children. In this video, my seven year old son tells me how much candy and chocolate I should be spoiling him with: