I was getting ready to do my work for the day when I received this message:
As you begin your work, hold onto the unwavering belief that you can make a difference in the lives of others.
So many times I am plagued by the belief that I am not that useful or that others are more useful than me. I can see that these are fear-based, ego driven ideas to keep me safe from the possibility of failing at trying to help others.
The Universe preemptively got me in a positive frame of mind this morning!
I had a chance to sit down with Business and Marketing Consultant Aaron Cruikshank to talk about something dear to his heart. Aaron was adopted as a little baby. When he in his mid-30s, he began a quest to find his birth mother. This inspirational story allowed me to understand the internal turmoils that many adoptees have knowing that someone had given them up for adoption. In this inspirational video interview, Aaron spoke about the first time he met his birth mother and the one thing he wanted his birth mother to know. This was a emotional interview that brought both Aaron and I to tears:
I don’t have strong opinions about abortions but this interview made me think about all the amazing women out there who chose to bring life into the world even if they could not care for the baby and have the courage of giving their own babies up for adoption — giving people a chance to have a great life, to be useful to society, and to become amazing parents themselves. At the time of this writing, Aaron’s birth mom and parents are about to meet for the first time. This was a very beautiful story that came full circle in the end.
This is a continuation from my previous post called the Consequences of Trying to Spoil My Kids where I spoke about the lessons I learned from trying too hard to spoil my children. In this video, my seven year old son tells me how much candy and chocolate I should be spoiling him with:
As my kids continue to gain a sense of the world around them and grow into the wonderful little people that they are, I realized that new challenges arise with my role as their mother. Recently, this conversation happened in the car with my 6 year old son Cedric.
Radio: The massive wild fire in the Northern Alberta city of Fort McMurray continues to rage out of control…destroying much of the city…
Cedric: Mommy, is there a big fire somewhere?
May: Yes, there is a big, massive fire.
Cedric: How big is the fire?
May: The entire city is on fire.
Cedric: I want to be a firefighter and help those people!
I really didn’t know what to say. The protective mother side of myself wished he didn’t really want to be a firefighter because being a firefighter is dangerous. Which mom would want her son throwing himself into danger? I did not encourage him or discourage him except to say “that there are many ways to help people, one of which is being a firefighter”.
At the same time, I also realized that this is a natural disaster that needs many courageous firefighters to protect the people and the most important structures such as the water treatment plant. I can’t figure out if mothers of military personnel and first responders feel about their child putting themselves into danger for a greater good. Would they be proud of their children’s service and dedication? Would they be worried about their safety?
For all the mothers out there, if your child choose to be a firefighter or other kinds of emergency first-responder, would you be worried or proud?
As for now, I have made a $100 donation to the Alberta Fires Emergency Appeal Fund. I hope you will consider making a donation to help these people who lost everything and now relying on our support to get through these hard times.
Today Cedric and I were preparing the Goodie Bags for his sixth birthday party. For some reason, when we went to buy the things he would like to include in his goodie bag, he got a bag of toy gold medals as one of the little trinkets he wanted to give to his friends. As we were putting the gold medals in the goodie bags, Cedric asked, “Are these gold medals only for people who are champions?”
“Not really…” I began contemplating his question before he asked another question.
“How do you become a champion anyways?” Cedric asked.
“To be a champion, you must first feel like a champion and believe you are a champion. You must believe in yourself first.” I said.
“You know…” Cedric paused for a moment and said, “I am kind of like a champion with many things…”
“That’s great!” I held up my hand and Cedric gave me a Hi-Five.
After this conversation was over, he took the gold medals that didn’t make it into the goodie bags and put one around his neck. Then he went and put a gold medal around his brother’s neck, along with all the other family members and guests to ensure that they too, feel like champions. It seemed like he understood how important it is to FEEL like a champion NOW.
During a personal development seminar I attended this week, it came to my attention from the sharing of fellow participants that many people are very hard on themselves. Most human beings live with the constant chatter of their own inner critic. These voices are loud, clear, and very real. I too have an inner critic, however, over the years of consistently connecting with my inner wisdom, I started to hear another voice, the voice of my Inner Champion! A gentle reassuring voice that often comes up when I begin to criticize myself about things. This allowed for some very interesting conversations in my head.
Here is an interesting example:
Critic: I’m going to record a meditation in 2 days in a professional studio and I still don’t have a script and don’t feel like writing one. Why am I so lazy?! Champion: Play! Do something fun! Not script. In the moment. You can write down some pointers but this isn’t about a script. You need to capture an essence in your being and in your voice.
Critic: I feel scared, I will be ill prepared and I will look bad. Champion: Trust your inner voice and don’t let fear get in the way.
I still have difficult decisions I need to make on a daily and weekly basis but I didn’t realize how awesome it is to have a “good” voice in my head that would chime in frequently to help me see a loving perspective. But when I see people talk about their doubts and the constant critic in their minds, I realized that things would be somewhat different for them if they could have a champion inside their minds to duke it out with the critic — creating awesome and insightful inner dialogue from one moment to the next.
I am beginning to see the value of connecting to my own inner champion. I can see how this have avoided many incidences of trying to beat myself up over something. I used to do beat myself up all the time. I was often troubled by many things, mulling over things I could have done better in each area of my life. I don’t think that my inner critic had gone away in any way, but its presence is much more bearable and even fun because I also get to hear what my inner champion has to say.
So the next time you notice that your inner critic is beating yourself up about something, ask yourself this question:
“What does my inner champion have to say about that?”