Searching for Love

Love in the CloudsRecently I have been feeling a huge wave of energy washing over me as I go about my day.  Sometimes this can be a bit annoying because I could not hold my smart phone if I wanted it to work properly.  The good part about this new surge of energy is an increase in my ability to communicate with my Inner Wisdom with greater clarity. One of the areas in my life that has taken a quantum leap is the discovery of a method I can use to guide clients to connect with their own Inner Wisdom from anywhere around the world as long as I can speak to them over the phone or Skype.

These sessions were so amazing I realized that I needed to share the results with others. The session today was one of those amazing sessions. A man in his early 50’s (whom I will call Larry) contacted me to see if he could get some greater insights into why he has not been able to manifest a life partner so far. Some of the burning questions on his mind were:

  • Why has it been so difficult to find a relationship?
  • Why does he feel like he just couldn’t get the kind of partner he wanted?
  • Why does he keep manifesting relationships with women who are more high maintenance?

During our session he first experienced a memory of relationship he had 5 years ago where he had been quite accommodating throughout the relationship. When he finally spoke his mind, she stopped talking to him. This left him feeling angry, sad and upset. He felt disappointed that he had to start all over again.

Larry then experienced a memory where he was head over heels with a woman many years ago. When he finally got the courage to ask her out, he felt that she had made up an excuse why she could not go out with him. He felt devastated and formulated the belief that he could never get the kind of girl he wanted.

As I continued to trace back memories of similar incidences in his life, he went back all the way to the time he was in Kindergarten. It was snack time and he was really excited about snack time.  The teacher he really liked had offered him a cinnamon cookie — a flavor he greatly disliked. Not wanting to upset the teacher in anyway, he tried his best to eat a cookie he didn’t like.  He ended up crying and snack time was not as fun anymore. Larry had felt like if he had told the teacher how much he disliked the cookie, she might not have liked him anymore.  So he tried suppressing his true feelings in order to please his teacher.

I then guided him to another time when something similar happened and he recalled a memory where he was a man in the 18th century being forced by his parents to marry someone he did not love.  He was angry at his parents and created the negative belief that his feelings didn’t matter and that he had to settle for less.  At this time in the session, a pre-existing cough he had got worse as he was feeling a sense of tightness in his upper chest area.

I guided Larry to the first time in his Soul’s memory when something similar happened. He recalled a time before his very first incarnation.  He really didn’t want to incarnate and resisted outside pressure for him to incarnate.  He felt like he was being over-ruled and finally gave in to the pressure while feeling angry and resentful.  He felt like he just could not get what he wanted. In that first incarnation, he was an angry person in a female body.

Given that we had found the origin where he had lost his sense of power to choose what he loved to do, I guided Larry through a process to connect with Larry’s own Inner Wisdom. Below is a snippet of my conversation with his Inner Wisdom:

May: Can you tell us why Larry was forced to incarnate?

Wisdom: Because he couldn’t progress any further in the ascension process until he incarnated. His Souls’ progression was at a standstill.

May: Can you please tell us why Larry had been unable to have a loving romantic relationship?

Wisdom: There are two reasons why he had not been able to have a loving relationship. (1) He has to realize that the partners he desired in the past were not partners he would have thrived with. Instead of going with the soul connection, he relied mostly on the physical connection. (2) He never believed in himself.  He needs to believe in himself and feel comfortable and powerful in his own essence.

May: So if Larry was willing to focus on connecting with women on a soul level and he started to shine with his true essence, then would he be able to have a loving, romantic relationship?

Wisdom: YES! Things can change in an instant! Don’t rely on the physical sense and rely on the compass in your heart and understand that there are multiple partners out there.  This isn’t supposed to be like finding a needle in a haystack. You will have choices. [With this new realization] you will look around and be amazed at what’s out there. Understanding your time in this life is short. You’re in your 50’s. When the fear comes up, you can’t let that stop you from living life.  If you want to have a partner, you need to actively participate in your own life!

May: Thank you so much for your love and guidance. Do you have any messages for May?

Wisdom: Don’t sell yourself short. You’re better at this than you think you are.

Amazingly, after the session ended Larry had no memory of ever conversing with his own inner wisdom. It was good that I took excellent notes but I know in the future I will have to look into recording these sessions even if no induction was used.  Interestingly, Larry started the session coughing a lot and ended the session not coughing much at all.  He was also pleasantly surprised at how light and relaxed he felt in his body after a 90 minute conversation.

This is so amazing! I am so grateful to the Universe for continuing to show me how I can transform the lives of other people.

Update: Nearly a year after working with me, he found confidence in himself and started dating again.

My New Mother

Rewired BrainThe last two months have been incredibly interesting and adventurous for me.  In October of 2012, my mother told me that she might be interested in learning more about the work I was doing — helping others resolve mysterious health issues.  I was super excited and yet skeptical.  She had a lot of health problems.  She claimed that she had issues with her memory, vision, digestion, elimination, weak muscles and bones (osteoporosis), and issues with sleep requiring her to take tranquilizers to sleep every night.

I began to talk about the miracles in my work when she visited me.  We didn’t have much to talk about because we didn’t share similar beliefs, but I kept trying anyways.  I knew my mother would really benefit from a session but she wasn’t going to have one, at least not from me. Family members are hard to work with.  This is because there may be some unspoken words and feelings or perhaps resentment that had pilled up after all the years of living together.  I booked a plane ticket for my mother to attend a class that will introduce her to my work.

When I first saw my mother after she had completed a course, she was so happy to see me and she tried to give me a hug.  I know this may sound like common sense for a mother to give the daughter a hug, but, the last hug I remember my mother gave me was when I was 7 years old.  Hugging is just not something we do in the Chinese culture.

I asked her how her course was and if she was able to connect with her Higher Self and she said she had a great experience. I noticed something was different about my mother.

When I saw my mother, the conversation went something like this:

“So, what did you find out from your session?” I asked.
“I don’t know for sure because I haven’t really listened to it yet.  I plan to listen to it when I have a moment.  What I remember is mostly what my classmate told me.” My mother said.
“So, what did your classmates tell you about your session?” I asked.
“When I first got there, I complained about being tired and not being able to remember anything.  I told them I couldn’t see very well and required a lot of assistance.” My mother said.
“So what did they say happened during your session? What does your Higher Self have to say about your health issues?” I asked.
“When my classmates asked the Higher Self for healing on my physical issues, it was said that they had to address the true source of why I was having these physical issues.”
“Oh! What was the true Source of all your physical issues?” I was very intrigued.
“They said it had something to do with my brain. So, the Higher Self had to rewire my brain.”
“They did WHAT?” I couldn’t believe my own ears.
“They said they had to rewire my brain.” She said while pointing at her head.
“So, what difference do you notice?” I asked.
“Well, that’s the thing, the day after we had our practice sessions, the teachewr asked the people with successful healing cases to go up to share with the rest of the class and my group went up. They told the class what happened since I still didn’t remember much from my session and one of the other classmates in the audience suddenly pointed out that I was no longer wearing my glasses. They said, ‘Didn’t you say you could not see well without your glasses? Where are your glasses now?’ And I thought to myself, Oh yeah! Where are my glasses? I guess I don’t need them anymore.
“Wow,” My own mother had a miraculous healing! “So, what do you notice now that your brain had been rewired?”
“I can remember the things I’ve learned!” She said.
“Well, I am having such a miraculous time here! It is amazing you don’t have to wear glasses anymore! On a different note, the kids are all sick back in Canada.” I was updating her on how her grandchildren were doing.
“Well…,” She said while her eyes looked upwards towards the left, “They are sick because they are not getting something they need from their parents.”
“And how did you know that?” I asked. Did she just pull that out of nowhere?
“Did I just say something? I don’t know where that came from, I just know that this could be the reason.” She said while looking at me again.

Somehow, my mother became kind of psychic.  I don’t quite know how to explain it. It was like she knew the answers to things she did not know before.  When her eyes looked up towards the left side, she seemed to have some pearls of wisdom that just came out of nowhere! Another thing she told me that just came out of nowhere was, “You cannot evade what you came here (Earth) to learn.  To do so will only cause health consequences…even death.”

The Man Who Weeps Inside

Yesterday, I took the kids to the indoor playground to burn off some energy and give Daddy a break from their constant need for his attention.  The indoor playground was as busy as ever. I could hardly find a seat in the seating area.

I saw a seat by the bench beside a man, a father taking his child to play, just like me. “Is there someone sitting here?” I asked.

“No, it’s really busy here, I had a table awhile ago and I stood up to speak to my daughter and when I turned around, my seat was gone.” He protested about the crowded space.

“This is the busiest I have ever seen this place.” I said, making small talk. “How many kids do you have with you?”

“Just me and my six year old daughter.” He said, “I came here with her 2 years ago and I found this place was too big and scary for her.

From the vibe I am getting from this man, this place seemed more scary to him than his six year old daughter, who was happily playing by herself in the maze of tunnels. “Maybe this place is too big and scary for you?” I teased, trusting my intuition.

“Yeah, I am not very good with big crowds.” He admitted willingly.

“It is hard having just one kid with you because you have to entertain her all the time.”

“Well, I have another one at home.  She is only one years old and she is with my wife most of the time.” He said as he casually looked up to see how his daughter was doing in the play area.

Somehow, I felt a tinge of sadness when he said the last sentence.  Having recently come out of baby-land myself, I know this can be hard for parents. “This is a challenging time for the relationship…” I said with understanding.

“Yeah, tell me about it.” He propped his chin up on his hand, looking a bit defeated, “I work six days a week, I get home around 6 pm and by then, my wife has had it with dealing with the baby all day long, she just hands the kids over to me and I have to take care of them and cook dinner. On my only day off, I hang out with my six year old.”

So, when do you get to spend time alone with your wife? I thought to myself. “Ever since my first son was born, I always make sure I have help with baby sitting from day one.  I don’t care if I had to go into debt to pay the nanny or the baby sitters.  It is worth it for the quality of the relationship.”

“Yeah, money isn’t even a problem…” he paused for a second, “Right now, I am number 4.”

Somehow, when he said this, I felt like he was crying inside, but on the outside it was not at all obvious.  But I am exceptionally observant and I had to hold back my own tears of compassion.  When he cried inside, I felt like I could cry with him too. “Number 4?” I muttered as I composed myself.

“Yeah, I am number four after our two daughers and we have a dog.” He said with a sad smile on his face.

Not even as important as a dog was what he was trying to say.  He said this like he was cracking a joke, but this was no joke. He was dead serious.  Our conversation got interrupted as my kids came bouncing for a brief moment of mommy attention.

I wonder how many men out there feel like they are last on the list of importance in the eyes of their wives.  How much they are truly crying inside for the love and the connection they desperately need.  In most cases, if they speak up, they might have gotten a negative reaction from their tired wives.  Men need love and emotional connection as much as women, however, they have been culturally conditioned for emotional suppression.

I took care of the kids that night giving my husband time to hang out with his best friend.  When he came home at night, I told him about the man I met earlier in the day and how I felt so sad for him.

“This man is very vulnerable.” My husband said thoughtfully. “If someone appears in his life who even remotely paid attention to him and appears to understand him…he may just find the attention where he could get it.”

While society often looks upon cheaters negatively, I saw the other side of the story yesterday. It was an eye opening experience to actually feel a man crying inside while keeping a straight face.  I wonder how long people can hide how they are truly feeling?  Is it the hiding of these feelings that keep people stuck? If this man was willing to speak his mind and cry with his wife, would she then have a deeper understanding of what is truly important to him? Would she realize how much she is unknowingly hurting him?

I will never know how this story ends, but I hope that it ends well.  I hope he will find the courage to speak up and express how he truly feels.  I hope their relationship can be transformed for the rest of their lives…

 

He who named himself with a shooting star

Beginning in July of this year, my husband Dobes and I had been doing some “relationship coaching” with relationship coach Alfred Depew.  We were coaching Alfred on getting his business accounting in order with our small business accounting software and in exchange, he offered us the opportunity to do some relationship coaching with him.

Personally, I found relationship coaching to be very…well, I can’t seem to come up with the right word…let’s just say — insightful.  While I have been told I am very “intuitive”, I always have this deep desire to know more about Dobes – what he is thinking, how he is feeling, what is important to him, what inspires him, what doesn’t…  This desire can also be problematic at times because he has mentioned on numerous occasions that he feels he has “no privacy”.  What can I say?  He did pick a wife that is highly intuitive with great deductive reasoning abilities.

Relationship coaching gave me new access to understanding Dobes in the way in which he understands himself.  What I have realized about humans in general is that we do not always understand ourselves; and therefore, we are often at lost with how we can communicate our thoughts and feelings.  During our relationship coaching sessions, we do fun little exercises that allow us to explore our visions and feelings separately and then sharing our thoughts and feelings with each other.

This process also made me realized how synchronized we are.  During one of the relationship coaching sessions, our coach Alfred asked us to pick a symbol that we could use to represent our relationship.  When this question was asked, I just had the thought of something “shinny” and “already knowing” and Dobes thought of a “shooting star”.  Based on our findings, we have decided that the symbol of our relationship is an already knowing shooting star.

On the same night we agreed on our relationship symbol, my mother had a dream which she shared with us the next day when we visited her.  She asked me, “have you thought out a name for your son?”  (I am pregnant).  “No” I said to my mother.  My mother said, “I have a Chinese name for him!” My mother said we should name him “Huai Yu” — which means “to be embraced by the universe”.  I was astonished that she could come up with this name.  I asked her, “Mom! How did you happen to come across this name?” And this is where things got really interesting…

My mother said, “Well, I was having a dream last night that a shooting star came straight towards my head and entered from one end of my head and out the other, leaving behind the name “Huai Yu” fixed in my head…so I got up and quickly wrote it down before going back to sleep so I wouldn’t forget…”

I swear, since I have gotten pregnant, my mother has gotten psychic or something.  We had just chosen a shooting star as our relationship symbol that very day and she has a dream that a shooting star entered her head with my baby’s name.  I sometimes wonder why I didn’t have such a cool dream like that.

Not even a month after naming my son, my mother said to me, “Oh! I have a name for your next child!”
“And how did YOU come up with that name?” I asked with intense curiosity.
“Her brother told me her name” My mother said.

Ok, let me get this straight, my unborn child is telling my mother his own name AND his “sister’s” name – a being that has not been “conceived” yet.  When I asked my mother what the girl’s name would be, she refused to tell me, saying I should at least get pregnant with a girl first.  I am not even done being pregnant with my first child and she is already telling me about my second child – correction, my son had already told my mother about his sister.  I said to my mother, “mom, your memory is not so good, maybe you should just tell me the girl’s name now so you won’t forget”. My mother responded by saying, “don’t worry, her brother will remind me.”

This is very strange coming out of a woman that considers herself a catholic and generally skeptical of psychics and past-lives…

For logistic reasons we have decided to give this unborn baby a Western name of “Dante” and a Chinese name of “Huai Yu”.

Hopefully he will come out soon, today is my due date and I am sort of sick of being pregnant…

Manifesting a Man Part 3

It has been a long time since I have written in this blog.  I have mainly been focused on the my small business accounting software and writing on the business blog.  But I keep feeling like there is some unfinished business here on Manifestation Stories. 

Previously on Manifesting a Man Part 1 & 2

In Manifesting a Man Part 1 and Part 2, we have examined issues surrounding believability and limiting beliefs when it comes to attracting a man (or woman) in your life.  In Manifesting a Man Part 3, I am going to talk about commitment.

Showing the Universe that we are “Serious”

The concept of “commitment” may be used in a different context in this discussion.  Here we think of commitment as — what are we thinking/ feeling/ doing that shows the universe that we are serious in our intentions.  Many women (or men) might say to themselves, “I really want a man in my life”, but they do nothing to show the universe this is what they want.  In fact, I have run across people that have said, “I really want a man in my life, but I don’t really want to go out and meet anyone.  It is simply too scary.”

Now I must clarify that if a person is truly an expert in aligning himself / herself vibrationally with their desires, they could sit in the living room and meditate and things would materialize for them.  It is a wild idea, I know, but in theory, this should be possible.  It is only impossible because we believe it is impossible.  I could sit in my living room and try to manifest a plate of Chinese stir fry noodles and it wouldn’t just appear in front of me because I honestly don’t believe it is possible.

I have several friends who have told me that they feel lonely and they would like to be in a relationship.  However, the relationship hasn’t been materializing for them because they are not showing the universe total commitment in wanting to be in a relationship.  Let me give you some examples:

Friend #1

Friend #1 consulted a psychic medium who told her that she will meet her soul mate in 3 years.  So far in the first year of this knowledge, she has turned down 13 dates.  Why?  Here are her considerations:

  • she would be taking the chances away from other women who were supposed to be with men who asked her out
  • she would be taking the chances away from men who asked her out to meet their soul mates
  • she would be wasting her time dating them if she knew she was going to meet “the one” in 3 years
  • she would not be single when her Mr. Right shows up

Here is my opinion on the matter:

Energy is a funny thing.  The more you celebrate the things you get, the more you get it.  In the case of dating and relationships, I have noticed a pattern and I will use myself as an example.

May is single => May goes to work and social functions and noticed other good looking guys, but no one asks her out => one guy makes a comment that he thought May was beautiful => May started to have guys who make the effort to come and talk to her and trying to get to know her better => she started getting asked out for coffee => she started getting asked out for coffee by several guys => she started getting asked out for lunch / dinners => one guy asked her to be his girlfriend => an ex asked for a second chance => another guy was showing more interest in her => May starts to date one guy => things got serious => he asked her to marry him => some other guy half jokingly proposed to May too at the same time…

The point of this is to illustrate that things come in waves.  It is like trying to tune the radio to a station, you get some fuzziness before you get a clear signal.  The fuzziness is sometimes necessary to give us a chance to exercise discernment and observe contrasts.  For example, when guys were asking me out, I can use this opportunity to go out with them and pick and choose which qualities I want or did not want in a guy.  I can also use this opportunity to clarify my own desires for the universe.

Friend #2

There is not one time in which I hang out with this friend did he not complain about how miserable he is regarding the way his last relationship ended 3 years ago and how he feels lonely.  He signed up for some online dating websites and recently was sent a match by one of the dating websites.  The match he got was a girl he used to have a crush on who happened to be on the same website!  Now, if he was sent a match, she would have been sent the same match about him.  So what does this friend do?  He totally rejected the possibility of connecting with her even though they had met in person a year ago at a party.  Now that really shows some commitment to the universe that he is serious about wanting a relationship. 

I have been playing match making on my spare time and I have recently looked up one of his friends with a girl I met at a restaurant.   I am in the process of trying to hook up another friend of his.  This does not make friend #2 very happy because he feels like I am taking away all his friends.  In fact, he even tries to sabotage things a bit by “forgetting” to send me his friend’s contact details so I can pass it on to a girl I met at a seminar.  He feels left out that I didn’t consider matching him up.  The truth is, both girls I have matched his friends up for are somewhat average in appearance based on his standards.  Both of the friends I have set these girls up for usually think most women are beautiful.  Friend #2 is really attracted to tall and blond girls because his ex was tall and blond.  That really narrows things down a lot.  Not that it is a bad thing, the universe rewards those who are specific, but I think he is sending the wrong signals to the universe by complaining about not having a girlfriend, not making a move when he was sent a match who he used to have a crush on 10 years ago, and being envious of his friends who are being matched up and trying to sabotage things.  Clearly, he is not showing the universe he is committed in being in a relationship.

What are you showing the universe?

Examine your actions and behaviours to see if you are sending mixed signals to the universe.  If you would like to meet someone, go out, tell friends that you want to, go online, attend gatherings, put yourself in a space in which the universe can send someone to you.  Sitting alone at home and complaining about being single do not show the universe you are serious about putting yourself in alignment with meeting someone.  Turning away dates and online dating match ups without even a single try also shows a lack of commitment in your willingness to experience what the universe has to offer.

Manifesting a Man Part 2

Previously on Manifesting a Man:

I have been repeatedly asked by women seeking to manifest a man of their dreams why they couldn’t / haven’t been able to attract the right person into their lives.  In the last post, Manifesting a Man Part 1, I wrote about a story of a woman who was clear on the characteristics she wanted in a man but ended up with a male cat with all the characteristics of her dream hunk.  Believe me, she is not alone.  I have had women telling me that they found the man with the perfect characteristics except he is, 20 years too young, married, gay..etc

I have also outlined the 3 major barriers to manifesting our intentions:

  1. Limiting Beliefs: what are some of the beliefs you may have adopted in your past that no longer serve you?
  2. Believability: do you really think that your desires are possible?
  3. Commitment: how committed am I to attain / attract my desires?

 

Limiting Beliefs
The universe is very funny in how it manifests our desires.  The universe cannot distinguish between what we want and what we do not want, it only responds to what we give our attention to.  This applies to both our conscious desires as well as our subconscious feelings and beliefs.  When we hold on to beliefs that no longer serve us in manifesting our desires, these beliefs become “limiting beliefs”.  Limiting beliefs are tricky because it can plague us both on a conscious level and on a subconscious level.  Most of the time, a lot of our limiting beliefs exist on a subconscious level.  Since the universe cannot distinguish your feelings from the consciously level and the subconscious level, it is often confused by the intentions we create for ourselves.

Since we are on the topic of trying to manifest a man, I shall pick an example for our discussion…

My parents had a turbulent relationship.  My father began dating my mother soon after he got his heart broken by an ex-girlfriend.  My parents got married 6 months after they began dating each other (can anyone smell “rebound” here?).  The marriage was turbulent from the start beginning with a huge argument during their honeymoon.  After less than a year of being together, my father suggested to my mother that they should consider splitting up and getting a divorce.  My mother was not going to have any of this.  She didn’t want to “look bad” to her friends and family and she thought if she would get pregnant, she could make my dad stay… BIG MISTAKE.

Long story short, my dad left, leaving my mother, my twin sister and I behind.  He left us the day before grade one for 5 years, came back for another 4 years, then finally divorced my mother and left again indefinitely.  Ever since the age of 7, my sister and I have been hearing never ending complaints about my father and his irresponsible ways and how men are so unreliable.

You can probably see where this is going.  I began dating when I was 21 years of age (yes, I was a late bloomer).  My first boyfriend and I were together for almost two years.  He was trying desperately to get into medical school at the time and when he didn’t get into med school due to lack of traveling experiences, he left to go work somewhere else in another country to improve his credentials.

Limiting Belief: Men will always leave

The second boyfriend came around and he was already in medical school in the same city I was living in, but I thought I should better leave him before he leaves me.  So, I left to go to another country to pursuit of a doctorate degree myself!  Pretty cool eh? When I finally decided to return to my home town, this medical student boyfriend of mine got a residency position in another city, 5 hours plane ride away.  Needless to say, he left anyways.

After this had happened, I took the Landmark Education and realized that I have this limiting belief that “men leave”.  I was so hurt that I decided to close my eyes to the world of men.  For a long time, I didn’t really have any serious relationships.

Limiting Belief: There are no good men out there

No wonder I couldn’t find anyone good, even if there was a nice guy that showed up right in front of me, I wouldn’t even notice his existence.  Recently I learned that when we have limiting beliefs, we often have to ignore something in order for the limiting belief to remain true.  For example, if I held the limiting belief that “men will always leave”, I will always get myself into relationships with men that will leave.  And if he doesn’t leave, I’ll push him away so that he would leave.

So, I decided to declare that I shall open my eyes to men and be open to possibilities that show up.  Soon after I made this choice, a great man showed up in my life.  This man is self-aware, gentle, and patient.  While I was mildly aware that I still had this limiting belief that “men leave”, I wasn’t as diligent with addressing this limiting belief.  Luckily for me, this wonderful man who is now my husband was able to identify this limiting belief of mine and reminded me of it every time when I tried to push him away.  Lucky me!

Eliminating Limiting Beliefs

This week a woman asked me how she could eliminate her limiting beliefs about men so she could successfully attract a wonderful man in her life.  There are many ways of addressing limiting beliefs and the first step to disappearing any limiting beliefs is to become aware of them.

Awareness

Awareness is the process of identifying our thoughts and beliefs and the meaning we have given those thoughts and beliefs.  While this seems to be a relatively easy task, what I am noticing is that many thoughts and beliefs are hidden.  We also have many limiting beliefs that are normalized by us over the course of our time here.  For example, for many cultures around the world, it is quite common to assume that women are housewives and men are breadwinners.  There are also some places around the world in which men can have many wives.  Not that this is particularly right or wrong, it just is for many people.  Back in my colleage days, a woman who was the teacher for the religion of Islam in my religious studies class told me that a woman would often urge her husband to take in additional wives so that she could have other “sisters” to hang out with.  I don’t think these women get to hang out outside of the house much and they are very lonely with the company of “the other wives”.

The point of the discussion here is that many of our limiting beliefs have been normalized by us and we no longer see them as limiting beliefs.  A good example a limited belief that I had was “no Chinese man will be able to stand me”.  My mother said that to me when I was around 14, citing my rebellious ways will upset traditional Chinese men.  I ended up marrying a white guy…

For the purpose of trying to attract a man, it is important to look at what you really think about men.  I recently came up with a great assignment which is:

Write a journal entry titled: What I think about men.

Since this is structured like a journal entry, there is no need to worry about grammar or sentence structure.  It is best to write out whatever comes to your head, good or bad, strange or normal.  Just write.  At the end of it all, read it over yourself or have someone else read it for you.  You might uncover interesting things…

This is a lot like looking into a mirror.  This is not the kind of mirrors we have in our bathrooms, but rather, the kind of mirrors that reflect our deepest thoughts and desires.  So far, I have identified several different methods of self reflection that have worked for me so far.

  1. Write in a Journal and have a conscious being read it.
    This may include yourself.  When I did a lot of writing when I was upset, I found my writing to be quite amusing to read later.  I also found that I was able to solve my own problems by writing out my thoughts and feelings.
  2. Find a wise friend to speak to.
    You might have noticed that not all friends are wise and not all wise people are friends.  Most of the time, your friends are the ones that react to the same situations you are reacting to because they are your friends.  However, a wise being will not react to anything you say.  For example, if a friend tells me: “the field of men is like a crowded parking lot, all the good spots are taken and the only spots left are handicapped”, I would say, “if this is what you believe, it will become your reality”.  Not a nice comment to make at all, but I really do not want to say things like, “I know! Where are all the good guys?”
  3. Attend a personal development workshop.
    I highly recommend this one because when I go to personal development workshops such as the Landmark Forum, a group of people like myself gather together in one room and they talk about the “stories” and “crap” that is happening in their lives.  They talk about their past conditioning and how much their parents are to blame for the failures in their lives.  While sitting in the room and listening to these stories (and offering a few of my own of course), I found that I am not alone, there are many other people out there that was as screwed up as I am! Some how, these stories act as a mirror for my subconscious.  I see myself in other peoples’ stories and how ridiculous my thoughts can be about certain situations.  I call this “popping”.  It was like a limiting belief that popped out from my subconscious mind into my conscious mind, making it possible for me to be more aware of my thoughts and feelings.
  4. Get a coach.
    The field of coaching is a relatively new and misunderstood one.  When working with a coach, all he/she does is ask you questions–digging deeper down from the conscious into the subconscious with each and every question.  This is an extremely effective strategy to gain awareness.  If you don’t have any friends who are wise, get a wise coach!

That’s it for this section, I think this must be the longest blog post I have ever written and there are still two more points to cover: believability and commitment.

Until next time…