At the beginning of January 2008, I was presented with an interesting idea: I am a Healer. This idea came to me through several people, my friend Ivy who is highly spiritually aware told me that I had to be a healer, I had a dream that I should be a healer, and I had a Clairvoyant that told me I have healing powers. But what does it mean to be a healer anyways? Do I have the ability to cure cancer? Stop the flu? Can I stop a person from dying?
The truth is, I cannot cure cancer, nor can I stop a person from dying. I have worked in the hospital and have personally participated in some miracles but I can’t really take any credit for them. Why? Because all healing is self-healing.
There are, however, many things I am good at. I am good at sensing and identifying the limiting beliefs people have that block their own healing. I am good at finding joy in dire moments, and I am great at inspiring those who want to be inspired. One thing I have learned about working as a Registered Nurse in the last 6 years is that every patient of mine was there by choice, either consciously or subconsciously. I know this is a rather bold statement to make, but I haven’t come across any better explanation so far. Let me give you an example…
I had a 19 year old patient with brain damage once. She got it from bad cocaine (bad choice) and got some pretty severe brain damage that prevented her from being able to toilet and feed herself. She was drooling constantly and she had no motor control of her arms and legs. What was interesting about her was that she cried all the time and she turned her head away when I tried to feed her. The medical team was unable to determine the extent of her brain damage and therefore could not understand why she was crying.
Deep down inside, I knew she realized she had screwed up badly. I remember speaking to her gently when I washed her and changed her diaper, telling her I know she could understand me and that I haven’t given up on her. All she could do was cry and shake her head at me. She was getting thinner and thinner everyday. The doctors wanted to put a tube in her to force feed her but I felt very uncomfortable with it because I knew she was capable of choosing. I tried to get the medical team to re-evaluate their decision but they decided to proceed ordering the feeding tube insertion. Concerned, I went to talk to my patient and told her that she had a choice, she could eat the homemade food brought in by her parents or the doctors were coming in to force feed her. I told her I was sorry I couldn’t stop the doctors from making that decision, but she had a choice to make. Guess what happened? Before the doctor was about to insert the feeding tube, she started EATING! I was so amazed! Immediately after she ate some food, I washed her hair and braided her long dark hair and told her again, that I believed in her and I was so proud she made a choice to live.
Still the medical team was skeptical, they thought she would probably remain in a semi-vegetative state for the rest of her life. Shortly after she started eating, she was transported to a care facility for people with brain injuries and I never worked with her again.
Two years later, while taking the elevator up the hospital building, a young vibrant hospital volunteer entered the elevator and noticed me right away. She said “ARE YOU MAY?”.
I said, “Yes, I am. Do I know you?”
“I was your patient. Do you remember me?” She beamed.
“I REMEMBER YOU!” I was so amazed at how absolutely beautiful she looked. Her hair was long, flowing and shinny, her face vibrant with a tint of colour to compliment her features. I couldn’t believe my eyes, I almost didn’t recognize her!
Our brief encounter ended when the elevator came to the 5th floor where she whisked off with a smile on her face, hurrying to help with the other patients leaving me with a big smile on my face.
I did not heal her, she healed herself. All I could do, was to believe in her 🙂
All healing is self-healing.