Recently I got an email from a reader of inspirational stories who was 14 years of age. The way she wrote reminded me a lot of my 14 year old self. Now that I am doing a trip down memory lane, maybe I will write about it a bit more.
Fourteen was my first year in high school. My core friends from elementary school did not to to high school with me. My twin sister found her own group of friends and I felt like I didn’t want to interfere in my sister’s social group. While I have found a social group I can say hi to, I didn’t feel like I belonged. I felt like some kind of outcast. I just didn’t quite belonged anywhere.
I remember hiding in the library a lot during meal times. I don’t know who to sit with and it was safer in the library. No one could judge me while I was hiding in the library. I didn’t have to worry about looking like a loner. I had some social anxiety to deal with. People are not always friendly, or at least I assumed that they were not always friendly. I didn’t know what to say to them. A lot of what people would say would seem trivial — like Mr So and So is so boring.
I feared group work in school. The teacher always wanted us to put ourselves into groups of 4 or 5 people and work together. I was always afraid that no one would want me in their group. Since there was often a lot of team play in Physical Education (PE) class, I made sure I was good at sports so that people would want to play with me. Guys would play sports with me in PE class but after the class was over, everyone seemed to just go back to their lives.
I did not understand why I existed. There seemed to be no purpose to my existence at all. When I had to write a story in English class I wrote a story in which the heroine of my story committed suicide by drowning herself. Then we had to share our story with the class – much to my dismay and my classmates were all laughing at me.
If I knew what I know today, I would find that my real purpose in life was quite simple and that nothing really matters in the grand scheme of things. I would know that there are others like me in this world and I will meet many of them one day. I would know more about being in the moment and how my energy and intentions could help me create a reality filled with like minded friends.
Thinking back, even if I had wanted a QHHT session, I may not have been able to get one. My father left us, my mother was mentally ill and we had no money. I wonder how many people out there felt like the way I felt when I was 14 years old. Probably more than I realized.
At the end of the day, I survived all the social anxiety, the alien environment of high school and made a few good friends along the way. If I could go back and speak to my 14 year old self, I would say:
You are the creator of your reality. Whatever you think is true, is true. So, what kind of reality would you like to create? Would you like to create a reality where you hide out in the library or would you like to create a reality where you are surrounded by like-minded friends? Choose wisely. If you know you can create the life of your dreams, what kind of life would you create for yourself?