I thought I had a meeting with a guide of mine today using Jeff Lilly’s guided meditation audio file.I felt very distracted because I keep thinking that Dobes is going to look over and start talking to me.I think I feel unsafe somehow, fear of being discovered I am meditating and fear of being disturbed.I think I am going to have to find a way around this somehow in this small apartment.A warm room I can go and sit down and do my automatic typing.

But I was able move to the sofa while maintaining a certain state of being.I am not sure if I would have done the meditation correctly but alas, I tried.

I met a man in white in this guided meditation.He almost has no form, just bright white light and when I needed to see a form, I saw a guy who kind of looked like “Mr. Clean”.I thought he looked like a Bob too but he said he has no name, I thought maybe he might be an Angel of some sort… I will refer to him as “Mr. Bob Clean”.

I found myself in an interesting predicament because I was almost out of questions to ask.How could this be? May without questions to ask?But the only answer I got from my guide was a loving answer stating “I have nothing to give you”.I suppose my guide knew I was going to ask about specifics like money making and career choices and he really didn’t have anything to say to me about those BECAUSE…I don’t need an answer with regards to these things!I can simply create whatever I want.Strangely enough, he didn’t have to tell me that, I had an understanding of that already.

I had asked to meet my higher self and I was engulfed with this beingness of white, bright body of energy which I believed was myself! This was a feeling of all knowingness, love and joy.I got the “feeling” that once I have had this experience, it would not go away.

I also felt that this experience could be duplicated if I practice.Initially I was very reluctant to practice because I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into.The truth is, I was afraid of failure. What if I couldn’t connect with anyone and I am just talking away with myself?I had a really cool automatic writing experience once and I didn’t want to try that again for a long time because I was too afraid that I couldn’t duplicate the results.Now I can see that this was kind of silly because I had nothing to lose by trying, who is going to laugh at me and mock me if I couldn’t duplicate an awesome experience? Me! Besides, I get the feeling that the experiences will be better and better as I become more consciously aware in my meditations to be able to actively DO things like find people’s higher selves to chat with and converse with other higher selves and beings.

I tried to look for Dobes’ higher self, these higher selves I tell you, there really isn’t a lot of individuality to them.I thought I found his higher self but it wasn’t Dobes anymore.Dobes is a name that was applied to a physical form, an ego.Once the ego is removed, a being is simply of pure love and light.Perhaps I can find a better way of individualizing the higher self without looking for their “ego form”.